About me...

Some basic stuff before we start! I am an adult, I do free-lance art, currently unemployed... Should we change that soon?... Ahh, maybe. Well, yea, yea we should...

Hello, my name is INKY and I have been self-shipping for as long as I can remember with Kaiji Itou, I've only just now been able to publicly come out and take a gander of what the internet has to offer! I don't have much to say except enjoy what is here! Please understand when viewing my pages, I am a non-sharing yume. If you don't understand what it is you can read more about the meaning here ; https://selfinserthandbook.carrd.co/

When did I meet Kaiji Itou? I personally don't like to answer as a timestamp but I will talk about the moment I fell in love with him, or rather, had begun to...

Some boundaries... I remember when I first found Kaiji I couldn't fathom how sexualized he was by the fandom, I'm no puritan but it struck me as almost wrong. I wanted to protect him from things like this, I eventually had to come to terms with that such a likeable character will be sexualized. Regardless, through other perspectives of the internet I can't change that. The Itou in my head will always be my Itou. That being said, please avoid sexual comments or remarks towards Itou that are not of my own, it makes me extremely uncomfortable and I would appreciate the mutual respect! If not, it WILL result in a block or mute. Continuing on...

A day where I found an image surfing the web. I thought, hey, why not give this anime a try? I haven't been the same since. Pasted from my Twitter here is a excerpt. Noted ; I am usually not a fan of quite mature depictions of life, but hey, exposure works! Kaiji did it just for me.

Something so simple as Kaiji opening his mouth to shock is when I fell in love with him genuinely, I'll never stop talking about it... I really don't know what it is about this scene that clicked in my head, but something that will last forever in my heart is here.

What's even more apalling to me is that I told myself ; "Yea, there's no way! You're lying to yourself, just watch the show..."

I wanted to get a good grip of his world, his reality, as a character before I started swooning over him, I wanted to be as respectful as I could when getting to know who he was. I wanted to know his ambitions, his drive, his desire, his uttermost passions. What makes him really him. So I settled, I held myself back, I let myself fall in love with him in the most humanly way possible ; that's the nature of Kaiji, you understand with your logic, but you don't let emotion take over. The tense situation between characters is real feeling. It's raw. It connects your brain to your soul. That's pure.

"Why is this person feeling this way?..." to "I understand more now..." and then "Here is the embrace..." (A hug, the warmth of someone else. Empathy.) That is how it feels to explain it bluntly..

Do I understand why I feel this way so strongly? No. It's a feeling and sometimes there is no explanation. That's fine too. All I know is that Kaiji taught me to feel, but remember who I am surrounded by.

You could say this web page is my love note to Kaiji himself.

In no way shape or form am I 'Kaiji's Number One Fan' I don't like to use that kind of wording, it's entirely different. This feeling.

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